Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 plus years?
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the ambulance!?
" A woman on the phone to her friend; I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctors permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull! The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. Her phone rings and its Lincoln: "Hi honey", he says "how do you like your new phone? On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?
Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother! " "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. I forgive you."The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?(Wait for it...) - She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go." (Oh, just hush-up now and send this one on to somebody who needs a laugh.) ha! A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day, the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. " An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening at church service when she was startled by an intruder. ' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.' "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear? Now I think I know where my hearing aid is." A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks andim on the back of the head with a frying pan. " She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs? Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.