I have two teenage daughters, so it was with some interest that I read a recent article entitled “Application to Date My Daughter.” It was pretty funny, playing on the idea of the stereotypical shotgun-toting father and the mortified daughter as they negotiate the tricky terrain of a first date. Instead of brandishing a shotgun or breaking out an application, you need to build a wall. Go all “Rapunzel.” Build it so high that only the strongest of suitors can scale it. In Song of Solomon 8:8–9 we hear a family’s hope that their young sister will grow into a woman of strength and dignity. I’m amazed and saddened at how often I hear young single guys say of bright, gifted single women, “Wow, she’s so strong I don’t think I could lead her.” At which point, too many bright, gifted single women begin to consider ways to “tone themselves down” or “soften themselves a bit.” Raise a strong daughter, even if—no, especially if it means potential suitors question whether they can “lead her,” whatever that means to them.
Then Christian bloggers grabbed the concept, and for the most part, these versions were funny, too. But don’t wait until your baby girl is a teenager, bro—start now. Can you guess what metaphor they use to describe that kind of woman? Their sister assures them in verse 10 that she is indeed a wall, complete with towers. You’ve just identified those suitors as ineligible, without so much as an application process.
So, my well-meaning father of a 2-year-old, please don’t hit “print” on that application just yet. Raise a daughter with a fully loaded heart and mind so that a fully loaded shotgun isn’t necessary. Resolve to be the kind of man you want her to bring home. “What shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?
Instead of cross-examining the man your daughter brings home, cross-examine the man who brought your daughter home from the hospital. If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver.
Or prospective partners were invited over for dinner and all conversation and actions were observed by the entire family.
These courtship guidelines were thought to develop friendship before intimacy, and make for stronger marriages.
Maybe it’s the spark in your son’s eye when he spots a particular lady from youth group.While this is an extremely broad stroke of each approach, it is one of the primary aspects of both.Now, regardless where you fall on the dating and courtship debate, we also have to understand some of fallacies that accompany each view.To Date or to Court One of the questions plaguing parents of dating-age children is whether their kids should practice dating or courtship. First, we have to understand what the basic tenets of each side.In the last few years, there have been many books, lectures, and debates on both sides of the argument, each clamoring for our attention. Boiled down to fundamentals, courtship and dating can be defined by the amount of parental control.