No matter what tactics your partner uses, the effect is to control and intimidate you or to influence you to feel that you do not have an equal voice in the relationship." A tool for exerting control and power is the use of threats and coercion.The victim may be subject to threats that they will be left, hurt, or reported to welfare.Emotional blackmail is a term coined by psychotherapist Susan Forward, about controlling people in relationships and the theory that fear, obligation and guilt (FOG) are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled.Understanding these dynamics are useful to anyone trying to extricate from the controlling behavior of another person, and deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others.The victim may be plied with alcohol or drugs to help disorientate them.Certain personality types feel particularly compelled to control other people.There are different levels of demands - demands that are of little consequence, demands that involve important issues or personal integrity, demands that affect major life decisions, and/or demands that are dangerous or illegal.The silent treatment is sometimes used as a control mechanism.
The motivations of the abusive person are varied, such as personal gain, personal gratification, psychological projection, devaluation, envy or just for the sake of it as the abuser may simply enjoy exercising power and control.
When there is a connection and a degree of trust, the abusers become unusually involved in their partner's feelings, thoughts and actions.
Next, they set petty rules and exhibit "pathological jealousy".
Controlling their access to money can also be done by withholding information and access to family income, taking their money, requiring the person to ask for money, giving them an allowance, or filing a power of attorney or conservatorship, particularly in the case of economic abuse of the elderly.
Emotional abuse include name-calling, playing mind games, putting the victim down, or humiliating the individual.