Soon enough, Steve found that pornography was not enough to sexually excite him.His use of digital devices to achieve sexual stimulation escalated.She would often undress in front of Steve, and would leave the bedroom door open before she went to bed.When he was afraid, he would often climb into bed with his parents.Before he was born, his mother had a miscarriage at five months gestation. However, she had exacting standards, and when he failed to meet them she would tell him with contempt that he was disgusting, noisy and boorish and would send him to his room for hours on end.Steve described his mother as “deceitful”—warm and inviting one moment and rejecting the next. Steve recalled that his mother had “horrendous” attitudes toward men and would often complain that they were “beasts”—loud, rough, and only interested in sex.For months after his wife declared that she was leaving, he found that his sexual fantasies and urges to masturbate were becoming more and more imperious.He realized that if he did not masturbate, he would remain “horny” all day, which would make him feel restless, irritable and discontent.
As with other behaviors, the vast majority of people who engage in “cyber sexual” activities (pornography, live webcam masturbation, sending sexual texts, interactive online sexcapades, etc.) do so occasionally, finding these activities to be enjoyable distractions that are ultimately not as satisfying as more intimate connections.
Steve felt lifeless and empty, devoid of energy, interest, or capacity of enjoyment.
The only thing that gave him a sense of aliveness was a sexual encounter.
Every new video, picture, game, or person released more dopamine, aiding him to maintain lengthy periods of excitement through all of his looking, searching, fantasizing and anticipating.
Steve reported that he could spend endless hours feeling intense arousal without becoming physically aroused or coming to orgasm.