“When there is always some other person, some event, some commitment that is taking up more of her time, that is a clear indication that you are not as high on her priority list.” It’s bad enough to hear about one ex-file, but an entire encyclopedia worth of info? “This means that she has not grieved him, and you are in danger of being the rebound boyfriend,” says Todd Creager, a licensed marriage and family therapist.“She is using you to escape her pain, rather than choosing you out of desire.” Getting a little history on her most recent relationship, to gauge if enough time has passed since her ex, is acceptable, as it’s important to ensure she’s had space to be alone.She seems like an awesome girl: She loves football, beer, and video games.And she has a ton of guy friends—which is totally fine—but no girlfriends, because she “just doesn’t get along with girls,” or “girls think she’s a threat.” Give me a break. “A worthy partner has friends of both genders because she’s a good friend,” Clark says.Women appreciate men who make the first move, but if she’s legitimately interested, she will reach out in due time.“There should be a balance of communication initiation by both parties if there is truly attraction and mutual interest,” says Barbie Adler, founder and president of Selective Search, a professional matchmaking service.
But you shouldn’t be giving up time with your friends for time with hers (or vice-versa).Oh, that awkward moment you realize your "hockey-loving" lady friend doesn’t know what a puck is.“Most people start out a relationship trying to be on their best behavior.“If she’s not nice to others, then someday she’ll treat you the same way,” Clark warns. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married (or not) or wanting to have kids (or not), but if you know what you want then you should work on finding someone who wants the same thing—not trying to change the person you’re with.If she sees wedding bells in her future and you don’t, then stop wasting her (and your) time.